Now, let me briefly introduce myself. (The full story will come out in time.) My name is Jenn. My hubby and I have lived in a small community in Pennsylvania all our lives, including the last eight and a half years that we have shared as husband and wife. About fourteen months ago we decided that it was time to expand our little family unit with the blessings of children. Fast forward a year later, and - despite our best efforts at timing and an herbal remedy or two - there was still no child on the immediate horizon. We called my ob/gyn who - after several questions about timing and my cycle - recommended a basic semen analysis. There were definitely some issues. My doctor said that - barring a miracle - we would not be able to conceive without some help. Um, what? Really?
Time to commence the praying. I poured my heart out to God so often that I felt like a broken record. Was I meant to have children? Should I just accept that being a mother was not in the cards? Was my husband's gentle leadership meant only for me and not for some mysterious little ones? Or was this a test? Or even, was this punishment for previous bad decisions? Hello, God? Are you listening? I'd like an answer now. I mean, like, NOW! I didn't mention I was impatient, did I?
Fast forward a couple more months to yesterday. There was a women's breakfast at a friend's church. The speaker? Oh, yeah, she *happened* to be a woman who had dealt with infertility herself. No, that was not the message of the day, just part of her history. I would guess her situation was similar to ours based only on the fact that she and her husband had tried artificial insemination which is what our next step in our journey is. Did she conceive through intrauterine insemination (IUI)? Nope. They adopted. And then, they got pregnant. Like I said, that was just her back story, not the message of the day, but it spoke to me. I don't believe in coincidences. And no, my friend did not know the speaker's story when she invited me.
One of the verses read during the actual message was Mark 5:34. It's simple:
And He said to her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction." (NKJV)
At that moment, I finally felt God speaking directly to my heart. He had heard me! And, yes, I am meant to be a mother. Peace just flooded my entire being. I know I was meant to be there yesterday morning. I know I was meant to hear from that woman. I know that verse was just for me at that moment in time. And I know I will be a mother. I AM a mother in faith, by my faith. Come with me on this journey. I don't know how long it will be. I don't know where the journey will take me. Won't you join me and keep me company?
The same thing happened with a friend of mine, she tried to conceive, nothing seemed to be happening so she and her husband decided to adopt a child from Haiti. Soon after the adoption process began, she was pregnant! And by the time the adoption finally went through, her biological son was about 3. I hear stories like these and wonder why this is, does the body somehow relax when not expected to produce? It makes me hesitant to even begin fertility treatments and just see what happens, on the other hand, will we be sorry down the road if we don't try everything medically possible? I imagine you've experiences similar thoughts and fears. Thank you for sharing your story. I'll come back and visit again from SCL.
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