Limbo, Continued

As I write this, TOM still has not made an appearance, but – in truth – it’s not due at least until tomorrow.  My iPhone app (yep, there’s an app for that!) actually tells me that it’s due Friday but since I ovulated early, I would expect my period early….unless this is just a weird month all the way around….ahhh, Limbo.  You have somehow assumed control over half of my life….two out of every four weeks you dictate my mood, my actions, and even – to a degree – my exercise habits!  You could allow me a measure of fun, of relaxation, of forgetfulness even; but no, you must haunt my every waking – and now occasionally sleeping – moment.  Listen to me; I’m talking to an IDEA!  I must be out of my mind!  OK, to be precise, I was writing to one, but I digress. 

I truly feel haunted at times by the “not knowing.”  I have already touched on the “what ifs,” but it’s so much more than that this month.  As I already mentioned, I have been dreaming so much over the last week and half about either being pregnant or somehow being involved in someone/something’s pregnancy.  In my dreams I have been pregnant, my friends have been pregnant (usually without trying), and even my (spayed) dog was in labor……  Then there’s the crazy “symptoms” that go along with both pregnancy and PMS.  My boobs hurt, and they’ve been hurting for a solid week and a half.  That’s one of the first signs of pregnancy, right?  Well, it is also a sign of PMS and fluid retention.  I have been getting up in the middle of the night to pee (something I NEVER do) almost every night – also a sign of pregnancy.  However, that is also a sign of fluid retention.  I have been irritable – a classic sign of PMS.  It could also be attributed to the lack of quality sleep I have been getting.  I have been exhausted – another sign of pregnancy……or of no sleep.  I will say it again – I hate limbo.  I just want to know, you know?  But I still have between 1-3 days before I will know either way.  I need a good distraction.  Know of any?